שולי זלצמן ביטון, ביטחון עצמי | מאמנת אישית בירושלים

The Quiet and Shy People

To the quiet and shy people who don’t want to stand out

I know you. I know exactly who you are. I was also like that. I was a very shy and quiet girl, to the point that when my teachers would call on me, I would have a panic attack. My teachers didn’t know what to do with me: on one hand I was an outstanding student and on the other, they would write, “what a pity she doesn’t participate in class.” I was scared to open my mouth. I won’t get into all the psychological explanations behind this now (I’ve already analyzed myself from every possible angle), but what I want to tell all of you is that it’s something you can change if you want too. I decided to make a change because I felt like it was holding me back. Anyone who knows me today would say the exact opposite, that I don’t stop speaking. From the moment I discovered my voice, I love to voice my opinion. There are still challenging moments for me in regards to speaking, but that’s a subject for another article. 

It’s important for me to pass on the following message:

It is never too late to change something you want to change! Think about how far you would be if you didn’t have this limitation and were free to express yourself. Imagine this perfect life for yourself in which you express yourself and your desires openly, freely, and without inhibition.  

I want to give you a tool that can help you and which works for me in these situations.

In the first stage I say to myself:

What is the worst thing that can happen? I write down all my thoughts. I try to understand which thought holds me back the most. And then I say to myself, “if the worst thing happens, so what?” For me, this question always helps me to reset. For example, if I’m scared to present to a crowd, I fear that I’ll have a blackout and will forget everything, or that I’ll faint, or that people will get up and leave in the middle. “So what?” So I made a joke of myself, it’ll last for a week or two and then people will forget about it.

Now onto the deep and true point:

Why do I care what others think about me? What's really important is how I think about myself! Caring what others thought about me really held me back from doing. For me, it comes from a place of perfectionism, the desire for everything to be perfect, and if it’s not, then it’s the end of the world. Who are the people that come from far away? Those that have self-confidence and don’t wonder what others think about them. They trust themselves and their judgement and they run forward without looking back. I believe that the more we look inside ourselves and understand what’s right for us, we will be able to accomplish whatever we want. Now I’ll ask you a question: wouldn’t you want to be in this place? Hasn’t the time come to make your voice heard?

Why do I care what others think about me? What's really important is how I think about myself! Caring what others thought about me really held me back from doing. For me, it comes from a place of perfectionism, the desire for everything to be perfect, and if it’s not, then it’s the end of the world. Who are the people that come from far away? Those that have self-confidence and don’t wonder what others think about them. They trust themselves and their judgement and they run forward without looking back. I believe that the more we look inside ourselves and understand what’s right for us, we will be able to accomplish whatever we want. Now I’ll ask you a question: wouldn’t you want to be in this place? Hasn’t the time come to make your voice heard?

Shuli Zalcman

Personal Life Coach

Specializes in relationships,
Certified by the College of Yozmut (Initiatives),
(Initiatives), Bar Ilan University, and recognized
by the Israeli Life Coaches Association.

 050-3831981 | shulibe.coach@gmail.com

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