As long as I can remember, I’ve had a huge passion for matchmaking between couples.
The first match I ever made was when I was 19 : a couple who got married and till this day are happily married with five children.
In recent years, this strong passion has returned as I searched for matches for my three children. It was important for me to be proactive and try to help them,rather than wait and hope they might meet the right partners by chance. I reached out to everyone I know, spoke about them in detail, and asked every person I encountered whether they knew someone who could be a good match. The truth is, each of us knows at least one person who could suit someone else, if only we invest enough time and effort in really knowing the people in depth.
Because I notice details and understand which personality types fit well together, and which traits need alignment and which matter less, I succeed in helping people find “the one.” Don’t worry , for every person there are several people in the world who could be right for them; the search is simply for one of those matches.
This passion for matchmaking burns in me, and I try very hard to help every woman or youngster who comes to me for coaching in finding a serious relationship. One of the things we work on is how to register on dating sites, what to present about yourself, which photos to upload, etc. But first, long before that, I work with them on understanding who they are, their needs, desires, values, and principles that guide their lives. We also clarify what kind of relationship they are seeking, and only afterwards, who the right fit is for them. We do a lot of groundwork before reaching the stage of signing up for dating sites.
This passion for matchmaking burns in me, and I try very hard to help every woman or youngster who comes to me for coaching in finding a serious relationship. One of the things we work on is how to register on dating sites, what to present about yourself, which photos to upload, etc. But first, long before that, I work with them on understanding who they are, their needs, desires, values, and principles that guide their lives. We also clarify what kind of relationship they are seeking, and only afterwards, who the right fit is for them. We do a lot of groundwork before reaching the stage of signing up for dating sites.
Matchmaking through people who know you:
As a first step, I highly recommend asking everyone you know, from all circles of life, whether they might know someone who could suit you.
It’s important to give them accurate details about yourself (you’re welcome to come to me to refine these details).
You should start with your close friends, then expand to wider circles. Ask them to approach their friends and pass along your details and photos (your card/profile).
Shared interests
It’s important to go to places where the type of people you’re looking for tend to be. If you love classical music, go to concerts. If you love singing or playing music, go to singing evenings, karaoke, or join a band. If you love dancing, try different dance styles. If you love reading, go to libraries, bookstores, or participate in book discussions or workshops. If you love traveling in the country or abroad, join singles travel groups. It’s most fun to meet someone who shares a similar passion to yours.
If you suffer from stress or anxiety around dating:
If you feel pressure or stress around dating but are still able to go on dates, I recommend scheduling meetings outdoors, such as a walk in a park with a coffee cart nearby. Physical activity lowers stress and anxiety levels. If you feel comfortable enough with the other person, you can schedule the next date at a restaurant for a longer period of time. If they’re not right for you, you can say at any stage that you’re really sorry, but it feels like less of a match and not your direction, and thank them for their time. At least you’ve avoided an unnecessary waste of time and money. It’s not pleasant to spend hours with someone who was never really an option for you.
If you suffer from stress or anxiety around dating,And you have panic attacks just from thinking about going on a date: I recommend getting treatment from a psychologist who specializes in this area.
In cases of extreme anxiety, it’s possible to use various calming medications that can be purchased at the pharmacy (natural ones without a prescription or chemical ones with a doctor’s prescription).
The main thing is not to avoid dealing with anxiety, because there is no other way around it, except to experience it and go through it. If you avoid it and don’t confront it, the anxiety grows over time and becomes worse. With the years, it becomes more and more difficult. It’s important to face fear and anxiety while you are still young and when there’s a chance to meet your soulmate. Unfortunately, this is one of the main reasons people remain single for life and never find one of their potential life partners.
A note to women: because the biological clock is ticking, it’s best not to assume that a partner will just fall from the sky: be active in your search. In addition, consider freezing your eggs especially if you’re at a critical age and it’s important for you to have children.
A small additional tip
Treat dates as fun adventures rather than survival missions. Believe with full faith that it will happen for you someday, without knowing how or when. Release the “burden of dating” from yourself, simply flow with life while still making every effort to meet someone.
Signing up for dating sites
I know many people who met through OkCupid and got married. The same goes for “Shlish Gan Eden” for religious people or those on the religious spectrum. There are many additional good sites; however, I mentioned the main ones that I know people have had success through.
Matchmakers: not only for the ultra-Orthodox Jews
There are matchmakers who help people (not necessarily ultra-Orthodox), and it’s especially recommended to approach them at more advanced ages because it’s a shame to waste precious time.
ארוחות שבת לדתיים
Are you religious-masorati or somewhere on the religious spectrum? For your information, there are shared Shabbat meals in most areas of Israel, with designated synagogues for this purpose. You can search online or ask ChatGPT, depending on where you live.
Speedating
You can find many arranged events by matchmakers, where you go and meet different people for a number of minutes at a time. At the end of the event, you fill out a list of potential people you would like to consider dating. This is very convenient because if you’re not interested in a specific person, you won’t have more than a few minutes with them, and you don’t even have to tell them that you’re not interested. This is a fun event that can be a very good way to find a potential partner.
Shabbat meals for religious people
Are you religious-masorati or somewhere on the religious spectrum? For your information, there are shared Shabbat meals in most areas of Israel, with designated synagogues for this purpose. You can search online or ask ChatGPT, depending on where you live.
Relevant for everyone: There are singles groups that go on trips in various places throughout Israel and also abroad. You can join such groups through social networks, especially on Facebook, where there are many dedicated groups for this purpose. For widowers and widows: There are support groups; I highly recommend attending them. You can also contact the organizers of the groups to ask whether there’s someone there who could suit you. Sadly, after October 7th, there are many young widows and widowers. It’s very important to start dating when you feel ready and to find a second love, one that will never replace the first love, but will exist alongside it. It’s very important not to sink into the past but to continue forward in life, especially when you’re still at the beginning of your journey. Needless to say, you should probably go to various kinds of therapy for PTSD, such as EMDR, hypnotherapy or hypnosis, and more advanced therapies, such as psychedelic-assisted treatments under supervision in medical settings.
