Guidance and counseling with a professional can positively change one’s life path. Many young adults between the ages of 21-25 are unsure about which direction to go in: What should they do with the rest of their lives? What to study? What field to work in? Where to live? When to get married and start a family (if at all)? Additionally, many young adults struggle with their sexual and religious identity. This phase can be wrought with immense uncertainty and it is recommended to seek professional guidance in order to create clarity. A professional counselor knows how to turn your thoughts into practical direction and decision making. A counselor knows how to identify the strengths, abilities and limitations of his/her client and to turn the information at hand into order and recommend professional and personal direction as well as advice regarding relationships. In many cases, the topic of relationships is at the forefront of most young adults minds, therefore, I will dedicate a separate paragraph to this subject.

Relationship Compatibility

Deciding who to marry is the most critical decision in life. Therefore, it is not advised to make the decision lightly without understanding the consequences. If you value a peaceful life, it is recommended that you marry someone that shares a similar background to you, or at least shares similar worldviews to you (especially in regards to raising children) in order to avoid unnecessary friction and arguments along the way. If you are entering into a relationship, you should look out for mutual interests, shared goals and compatible energy (active/passive, optimism/pessimism, homebody/partygoer). The moments kids enter into the picture, the equation changes and life is completely different. Ideally, you should only bring children into the world once you have reached decisions regarding raising and educating them. This will also prevent unnecessary fighting. Over the years, qualities that bothered you in the beginning of your relationship will become worse and you will have less patience for them (due to an accumulation effect). Therefore, you should know about these qualities from the beginning: areas where you’re willing to compromise and areas where you aren’t. As a general rule, you should be aware of your shared plans for the future, your plans as a couple and a family. The more effectively you express your expectations at the beginning of your relationship, the easier your relationship will be for you.

The expression “when you marry someone, you also marry their family,” is very true. Ideally, you will have a good emotional connection with your partner’s family and vice versa, so that family events will be pleasant and so that your children will have involved grandparents. If this is not possible, it is important for your partner to understand that he/she will have to play the middleman between you and his/her family. That being said, the responsibility falls on you and your partner to ensure that you feel comfortable around his/her family. Young people tend to think that love conquers all. Love is definitely very important, but in life people go through all different challenges and some of them can destabilize relationships. In some cases, despite love, couples aren’t always able to bounce back from immense traumas that they go through together, and sometimes their relationship falls apart. Therefore, couples need a solid and steady base to build their relationship on in order to maximize their chances of success.

How to find your partner?

In my opinion, matchmaking is a positive thing, as long as the matchmaker is taking into account many different aspects, including family, cultural background, financial situation, etc. One option is to seek the guidance and help of a professional matchmaker or to tell friends who know you well exactly what you want and see if they know of someone compatible. Another option is to join dating apps. Nowadays, there are endless amounts of good dating apps and websites. If you are particularly brave, you can join the TV show “Marriage at First Sight” as a contender. When you choose a life partner, it is important that you are in touch with your intuition, that you listen to your inner voice and that you don’t ignore the small signs and warning signs.