Relationships are the most important aspect of our lives, and ideally, we should learn how to communicate with one another in the most optimal way. We meet people everywhere we go, whether it’s at the workplace (colleagues, secretary, boss), seeing friends, or other people you meet in the shops, on the bus, or on the street. The rules for effective communication are the same in every relationship.
Relationships Within the Family
Relationships within families are especially complex: the relationship that exists between couples, between parents and their children, between siblings, and of course between extended family. In every relationship, with no exceptions, it is incredibly important to approach things from a place of openness and acceptance of others, without room for judgment and criticism. When you criticize someone, he or she will automatically become withdrawn, hard, and defensive. It’s impossible to establish good and healthy communication with a person who is closed off. Good communication requires two people with openness and willingness to work on the relationship. It is best to open every conversation with words of affirmation and closeness. It is important to remember that you have a shared goal, that you want to live peacefully alongside one another, and that you want what’s best for each other. I work with my clients on nonviolent communication, how to speak in a way that the other person will understand, how to speak in a way that the other person will listen to you, how to listen so that the other person will know you heard him/her, how to understand the needs of another person, and how to give others space yet also be there when needed. It’s important to be attentive to each other’s needs, to make sure you treat each other with caring, understanding, and a mutual desire to be kind to each other.
Clients I Have Worked With
I help my clients let go of guilt, and in place of these feelings, to understand that there isn’t one right side, this isn’t a discussion about justice. There is room for more than one opinion. The idea is to always be thinking about how you can give the other person what they want while also looking after your own interests. This is what we call a win-win situation. Clients of mine who came to me in hope of improving their familial relationships, felt that their communication improved immensely, and their awareness changed. They came to understand that they aren’t against each other, but rather, for each other. The willingness to improve for each other and be kind to one another, and the desire for a peaceful environment at home came to fruition. As a result of this, they were more productive in many aspects of their lives, and their relationships improved on different levels. Additionally, their relationships with themselves improved and that is the most important relationship we have!
We take ourselves everywhere we go. Brothers who didn’t speak to each other for years started speaking again. Couples on the verge of divorce reunited in a loving relationship. Sisters who were enemies became friends, and countless other stories.
